People growing up in America have fantasies that they have developed during their pre-school and kindergarten times. The idea of the prince showing up in a chivalrous fashion and how they get married and live happily ever after is ingrained in the consciousness of many women. The guys have comparatively less fantasies than women do.

The solution to the problem is to find out what do you want in life? How important is that in your life? Can you live with/without relationship? These are questions that each individual has to answer for himself/herself. There are some general principles that I want to lay out.

Is there a Mr. Right or Ms. Right? The whole idea of Mr. Right/Ms. Right is based on the following issues:

1. Insecurity
2. Control
3. Ego

Insecurity is based on the fear that the partner is going to leave you at some point. This fear leads to the next stage - control. One has to realize that you can't live your life in insecurity nor can you control anyone. If you feel insecure deep down, you are going to manifest it outside. The guy is going to leave me if I don't lose weight or do a face-lift or re-shape nose, skin or rear end.

I am not saying that you shouldn't shape up. But you shouldn't do it for the guy, because the guy may leave you for a fat woman with less money and less education than you have. I insist that you shape up not for the guy/girl, but for yourself. I have advised a lot of insecure guys who go on buying gifts because they fear that the girl is going to leave.

Control doesn't work at anytime. The bottom line is that no one wants to be controlled, although everyone wants to control the other person. I am not saying that control is not needed. Control is an organizing principle that gives stability and security.

Cultural laws are based on control. But then, there is a natural control and an imposed control. The control mechanism that comes out naturally is based on love. The control that comes out of social/cultural/legal obligation doesn't hold for long. Sigmund Freud discussed this issue in his writing 'Civilization and its Discontent' (see The Case of Dora and other essays).

Relationship is irrational. To use religious language, relationship is karmic. You often marry the man or women you have married at least 5 times in previous lives. In each lifetime, you got married and kept the marriage partly or fully. And, again you do it in another lifetime. Every human being has gone through millions of lifetimes and several millions of relationships. Since you don't remember past lives, you don't understand what is happening now. You may have murdered your wife/husband in a previous lifetime. He/she has to come to avenge you. He/she may get married to you and give constant problems.

Or, you may be involved in an abusive relationship where you hurt each other on a hourly basis, establishing psychic routines. Sometimes you cry out: "God, I want this over. Can you help me?" When a person comes to this level, God does come down to give you guidelines. He says: "No relationship is perfect. Relationship is past memory. Don't take it seriously and kill yourself. The only true relationship is with God."

God will eventually make you understand that you are God. When you become God, then there will be no animosity, finger-pointing, abuse, hatred or anger. You will be just love. You love everyone unconditionally and not because both of you scratch each other's back, although it may appear to be kind of nice.

You may reply back to God: "God, that's all fine. But do you have a remedy for my tooth-ache?" (meaning your pain in your current relationship situation). God says: "Yes, I do. Use the mantra KLEEM."

My suggestion to you is get a set Rudraksha mala beads and chant KLEEM 108 times on a daily basis. It will silently remedy your relationship problems. Also, watch month 7 of my Personal Transformation Program video set. It has a very powerful meditation for relationship problems.

Please take advantage of the relationship analysis reports on Astroved.

Become an affiliate member and help spread these teachings. If you make a genuine effort with the affiliate program, the good karma from that effort will help transform your consciousness and also aid your bank account!

Valentine Planetary Special

I would like you to understand some concepts concerning the planets in Vedic astrology. In Vedic astrology, the planets are not just celestial objects. Each planet is a celestial being, and the celestial body is only an outer manifestation of the planetary being. The planetary being, in turn, is governed by a god. When remedies are being suggested, several of these factors are taken into consideration.

Relationship problems are caused, primarily, by two planets: Mars and Venus.

Mars is the pre-eminent problem for fights between partners. Mars represents ego and the quarrel, likewise, will be ego based: 'Who is big?' 'Me or you?' 'I make more money.' 'You don't deserve me.' 'I am way, way above you.'

Mars also will create delays. You may be dating a guy/girl, but you put off doing anything serious. At the end of the day, you go home separately. Not that you don't love each other, but then, there are trust issues or fear issues or something else. All these problems are created by Mars. Mars is funny. He can make you extremely sexual or dry up your desire and juices. Particularly with women, Mars can play lots of games. He will manipulate their menstrual cycle and play hard ball with their emotions. Mars is also related to menstrual fluid. He can make a woman mean and a man a philanderer.

Unless you are a Mars person (Don't ask me what does it mean. You want to talk to a Vedic astrologer.), don't go on a date on Tuesdays - perhaps, that will be the last date. (But, remember it may not be all that bad.)

A Mars person is more inclined to pull out from a relationship. Even a small disagreement will trigger a serious break up. It is fair to say that almost 60% of break ups, separation, and divorce are caused by Mars.

As I write this, Mars is appearing before me with his planetary god, Muruga, and feels happy. Those of you in conflict with each other might want to propitiate Mars and his planetary god, Muruga.

To do this, you light a candle (a small tea-candle is fine) in front of their pictures and chant their mantras

Mantra for Mars OM MANGALAYA NAMAHA

Mantra for planetary god of Mars, Muruga OM SARAVANA BAVAYA NAMAHA

Venus is another planet that is directly related to relationships. Venus particularly creates romance more than sex. Between Mars and Venus, Mars is associated with sex, and Venus with romance. Venus energy is very active on Friday. This is the reason why lots of people go crazy on Friday evenings. The romantic energy of Venus causes you to blindly fall in love, without scruples. You understand it only later about your mistakes. Most of teenage love is caused by Venus. Venus energy leads to lots of partying, movies, wine and beer.

Passionate love feeling or passionate separation are caused by Venus. The planetary goddess for Venus is Lakshmi. You can propitiate Venus and Lakshmi through the following mantras:

Mantra for Venus OM SHUKRAYA NAMAHA

Mantra for planetary goddess of Venus, Lakshmi OM SHREEM NAMAHA

Light a candle and chant each Mantra 108 times.